~ From Olivia ~
32 weeks.
It feels great to be over the 30 week hump. There has been lots happening to keep me
busy.
It’s been 5 weeks since I needed to wear my carpal tunnel
brace which I’m so happy about! I was
worried that it was going to last all pregnancy but it hasn’t so I’m loving
that. My belly continues to grow and get
heavier and heavier and things are a bit of an effort these days. Even the mail box is a bit of a mission, but
I’m hanging in there. I have had a lot
more free time lately, now that I’m not working. There are lots of jobs I should be doing
around the house but I keep putting them off.
At least at the moment I have an excuse with a bad cold to have my feet
up and stay warm most of the day.
I see the midwife every 2 weeks now which seems to make the
time tick by quicker. Things are good,
blood pressure and what not is behaving so that’s all good. I had a pregnancy massage this week which was
heaven and just what I needed after a stressful week with other bits and
pieces. Leonardo is changing how he
moves around now, I guess with less room in there he has gone from kicking and
booting to a more shrugging and rolling motion.
I really noticed the difference this week. He is 1/5th engaged already, which
will be helpful if our plans for a c-section end up changing.
We had the first OB appointment this week which Bernice came
up for. The OB we saw was lovely. She was super nice answered all our
questions. An elective C-section will be booked in for 39 weeks but
if I go into labour beforehand I might try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after
cesarian). It is something that I had
thought about earlier but then figured it probably wouldn’t be possible. But the OB mentioned that we can give things
a go if it happens and see how it works out.
At least I know that it’s totally up to me and how I feel at the time.
Knowing me I will have my first contraction and be asking for the c-section
straight away. LOL
We have Midwife and OB appointments again in 2 weeks and next week a growth scan. Bernice has been such a trooper and made it to every midwife appointment and scan and I’ve loved having her at all of them, but now there is so much more happening and more often I cant expect her to make every appointment.
I am being kept busy sorting out my lawyer for the adoption
when Leo is born. It should have been
pretty straight forward, but for some reason this lawyer has managed to make
even the simplest thing seem really really complicated. It is adding stress when it doesn’t need to,
but we’ll get there. The hard part is
having to educate people who are supposed to know all about this stuff. It wastes a lot of time and gets VERY
frustrating. Hopefully it will all be
sorted soon so I can relax and just get on with growing this baby!
On a plus side, I have started to pack my hospital bag and
have even started writing a list of things I need to put in it (I’m really not
a list person at all so this is such a new concept to me!)
Bernice and I were joking the other night about both of us
having to pack a hospital bag. It’s
pretty cool.
Something else that we have been talking
about is how some people have reacted to Bernice breastfeeding Leo when he’s
born. I know there is a lot for people
to get their heads around with surrogacy, and there have been some questions
about how I feel about her doing this? I think it’s great what she is doing and
I’m completely comfortable with it. Leo
is Bernice’s baby so whatever she wants to do is not a worry with me, and I
know it is something very special to her, just like any mother making those
sorts of decisions about feeding their baby.
~ From Bernice ~
I can’t wait to start
getting all his things set up and to see his little bed made up with the
blankets I have crocheted for him. They
are made from bamboo and feel just so snugly!
Love in every stitch.
It has been lovely to see Maree the midwife a couple of
times these past 2 weeks. She has this
knack of making everything feel ok. This
week she was talking me through what to expect during a c-section and what will
happen with Leo once he is out. She will
be there sorting things out anyway, so that feels very reassuring. Olivia and I have been joking as to who is
going to be holding who’s hand! I have
been watching c-sections on you tube to desensitise so I can at least be of
some help to Olivia…. But I suspect it will be her reassuring me and mopping up
my tears! I have however promised not to
give her any headlock hugs while she can’t defend herself on the table LOL.
We saw the obstetrician for the first time too this week and
there is another appointment in a couple of weeks, as well as a growth scan
just to check everything is fine… which I am sure it is. Olivia is doing an AMAZING job.
While we were there the OB talked with Olivia about the
possibility of a normal birth (VBAC) if she wanted to try. If she chooses this option then they will
monitor her and Leo very closely and if things show signs of not going so well
then it will be an emergency c-section.
It was a curve ball as we had got used to the idea of it just being an
elective c-section. We are all booked in
for an elective at 39 weeks anyway, it’s more if Olivia goes into labour
early. She can change her mind at any
time which leaves things open for her. I
just said she needs to do what feels right at the time. I trust Olivia with every ounce of my being
and her care of Leonardo, I know that it will all just flow along and that my
concerns are completely normal for a mummy to have, whether that is a mummy carrying,
or a mummy waiting on the other side of the pregnancy…. It’s normal to worry. I would be worrying even if an elective
wasn’t on the cards and we were just waiting for labour to start naturally lol.
I just want this to be a really good experience for Olivia
so that when this pregnancy is over, she looks back and feels that everything
was just how she would have wished it.
There is a great team looking after us all so I just need to trust that. I would hate for her to feel cheated out of
trying for a normal delivery if she can.
The great thing about it is that she can change her mind at any moment
and if labour isn’t agreeing with her, she can still opt for the
c-section. Definitely a case of wait and
see and go with the flow.
We have Olivia’s surro shower next weekend which I am really
looking forward to. Things have fallen
in to place with this too and I can’t wait to meet her lovely friends who have
been so supportive and wonderful during this journey.
From our side of things it has been more of the adoption
stuff, getting things finalised with our social worker. We are just waiting on the home-visit now and
then that is the last thing we need to do to get our side of things all
finished up. I am really nervous about
the home visit, which is so silly, but with the renovations going on, things
are a little chaotic. Our SW has been
with us a long time though, and knows us pretty well, so I should just slap
myself around with soggy lettuce leaf and get on with it!
I have started getting things ready for my breastfeeding
experience. I borrowed a pump from the
lactation consultant in Lower Hutt hospital.
I started getting some breast change, so spoke with the nurse at my
doctors about it, and I have started taking Domperidone to see if I might just
make a little bit of milk.
The normal protocol for induced lactation for adopted or
surro babies, is the Dr Newman protocol.
There is a very helpful online forum called www.asklenore.com which is run by a woman
who works with women all over the world to support their lactation and
breastfeeding experiences. If anyone is
interested in this, it is worth a read.
I won’t put all the details in here though… too much information.
Last time I did this, I did the entire protocol and got a
full supply, but was completely wrung out, stressed and exhausted by the time
the baby arrived. This time I have a
very different approach and am much more relaxed about it. So now I am just pumping a couple of times a
day, when I feel like it, and now taking the domperidone. No milk yet, but definite breast change. My poor ‘gals’ feel achy, heavy and sore so
there is definitely something going on there.
My greatest hope is that I might be able to give Leonardo his first feed
without needing the medela nursing supplementer, but either way, it will still
be a very special moment.
Olivia is going to see if she can get some colostrum off and
into some syringes before the birth which will be like liquid gold for Leo as I
won’t make colostrum even if I do get the milk to come in. It is a really special thought to think that
he will be nourished by both of us.
We’re hoping to book in for a 3D scan soon. Ooooo can’t wait to see what he looks
like! Having a photo of him here with us
for those last weeks really brings it home that WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!
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